I have been very conscious of what I've been thinking about my career: what work I should make, how would it matter, would I be this successful artist in my dreams while I make money, how am I going to make art and money at the same time, will I ever make it...
After working at one of the most well-known art galleries in Hong Kong I had been so trained everyday to see art that sells or even to admire it in relation to how many private collections the artist is part of.
Do I care? I don't, but that's isn't being honest. I need to pay bills. I need to make my parents proud. Living in Hong Kong, where money is on everyone's mind (please do not pretend, for those who thinks 'art is not about money, is about passion' blah blah, can stop reading this because apparently businesses do not require capital, people do not need food to sustain their lives and I have so much free time after work and gym as I wake up at 9 am to next day).
Art is a business, it is blatantly obvious. Just like music and design, it is what being traded every single day. Art does not escape it and neither would it change this fact globally.
Wow, John, pessimism much. Perhaps you're right, but what matters is not about whether or not I am going to change the world. It is about realising this as a fact, as something that is going to happen no matter what you do. Just like death, nobody can escape from it, but does that mean we should stop looking for meanings in life that we have not yet realised?
So, to a certain degree, this leads to the idea that Art can entertains us as we approach our wonderful death; its romanticism and its bizarre qualities gives us permission to be happy intrinsically.
I was not happy making the work I made in the past 2 years. I was hoping to please everyone with what I have learnt in uni, to please my delusional self that after being discovered as the 'up and coming artist' and getting publicity I will be able to afford things while I make art and live happily ever after.
To make the art I am destined to make, i must be truly happy.
It took me a while to realise this, that I have not been truly happy for the past 2 years. I treated things very seriously. Every decisions that I've made was in future tense, and it was obscured with fear and anxiety, it surrounded whatever I was thinking.
I cannot think this way.
I refuse to think and do things the way my university had taught me to think.
It wasn't, isn't and will not be who I am.
I love making art. I have the urge to. But it is too much to make this certain Art that everybody says it is. I do not need to make art my career. I do not need to make money from my work. But I do need money.
So, I wll need a part-time job. Hit me up if you know someone who is hiring.